Friday, September 5, 2008

Eatin' Out

Now who thinks they could eat a half chicken? Well apparently Bebe and I had a delusional thought when we went to Bell's Barbecue Barn tonight. I read the menu and stayed with the one meat plate with one side and a cup of cowboy beans. I remembered in my youth I could eat several plates of chicken, however now I know better. I am as big as a small NFL interior lineman and must look at the weight limit on canvas folding chairs, and attic ladders before taking the plunge, but it looked like a small plate on the menu. Needless to say we had to get a to go box and it took both of us to carry it to the car. We were in the Jeep and I thought I would need to give Bebe a boost after we left the place, but she managed the slightly higher step up after two tries. I was holding the six pound to go box and was not much help. We had to get home in a hurry because the tea glasses were the size of small wash tubs and I had mine refilled. We keep saying we are going to order one entree and split it, but we don't like to look like old people. The truth is I will need an iron lung to breathe if I don't lower my caloric intake. I keep thinking I'll start any day and then someone says, "Hey we're cooking out tonight, can y'all come over?" It never takes me long to answer. I try to pause slightly just to sound like I have a life, but the "yes" is always out before I know it. My daughter brought in a cake because it was too hot to leave in her car this afternoon. She left it in my refrigerator. Even though I am still uncomfortable, I hear the cake calling me. I keep thinking maybe someone will realize I have a problem and do an intervention.

When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him. - Thomas Szasz