Monday, February 23, 2009

Sinus Surgery

I was never shown this photo prior to my surgery. My surgeon, Dr. Steven Wright, said he would put a little camera up my nostril and work with tiny instruments to remove the blockage that was preventing my sinus outflow. He never showed me this picture. In fact I don't think he has this picture anywhere in his office. I knew I had to get way too many physical tests prior to the "Procedure." "Procedure", is a euphemism for major surgical trauma. "We'll do this and you'll feel better than you have in years", he said. Right, provided you've been in a prisoner of war camp for three years having bamboo slivers driven under your fingernails daily. What was I thinking? I was treated royally right up to the point where I saw the inside of the operating theater and by that time they had me so sedated I couldn't recognize the vice grips and Dremel tool lying in the surgical tray. No wonder they ask that someone accompany you to surgery. I remember hearing a little girl in the recovery tent next to mine telling her mother she felt sorry for me. I was still in Lala Land and couldn't have imagined why that would be. Well, you just look at that long nosed set of channel locks with the little laser light on the end and imagine that being shoved up you nose. I wore a gauze mustache for at least twenty four hours. When I got my prescriptions, the one for pain was a large bottle filled to the brim with white caplets. The instructions read, "Take one tablet every four hours for pain if needed." It should have read, "take four immediately and then every time you wake up take four more." That big bottle is empty my friend. I am now lucid for the first time in days and the tip of my nose is so sore I'm afraid to touch it with a tissue. I am supposed to go back tomorrow for a follow-up and a little clean out. I'm too weak to be of any physical danger to anyone at this point. I think this is the way they plan these things. I haven't known my doctor long, but I did have him followed as a matter of personal interest after my surgery. My investigator took this picture and asked me how I could have been so gullible. My surgeon is the one on the right. Things are just a little different down here on the Mexican Border. He was always wearing scrubs on the other occasions I saw him. I am a wiser man for the experience. Please do your homework prior to subjecting youself to something that could forever change your life.

Happy belated birthday Doc.

The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. George Bernard Shaw