Proof Positive

Luke ''The Drifter'' says:
"We Americans got so tired of being thought of as dumb by the rest of the world that we went to the polls last November and removed all doubt."

Fortunate Youngsters

No More Vent Windows

I drove through the historic district
and realized I grew up there.

At a recent business meeting
a young associate said,
“Pawpaw, I think that’s your beeper going off.”

A guy cut me off in traffic today.
I called him a “moron”,
but, realized by modern standards
it was not harsh enough.

In my younger days
I would have chased him down
and jerked his pointy head through
the vent window.

There are no more vent windows.

Dennis Price

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Cossman

Good Advice

Good Mornin' pilgrim. I don't know who you voted for in this last election, but if you're smart you'll not turn your back on any of 'em. I put together a little list of sayings from some pretty smart fellars. I remember a few by name, but no matter they had some good things to say.

Personally, I carry a gun because I'm too young to die and too old to take an ass whoopin'.

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress... But then I repeat myself. Mark Twain

I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. Winston Churchill

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. George Bernard Shaw

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. G. Gordon Liddy

Democrat's Government view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it. Ronald Reagan (1986)

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it
costs when it's free. P. J. O'Rourke

No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session. Mark Twain (1866)

The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery. Winston Churchill

What this country needs are more unemployed
politicians. Edward Langley, Artist (1928 - 1995)

My old grandpa said to me, "Son, there comes a time in every man's life when he stops bustin' knuckles and starts bustin' caps and usually it's when he becomes too old to take an ass whoopin'."

Storm Watch

As you can imagine we have been involved in a storm watch over the past few days. Thanks for all your concern on our behalf. Ike is apparently turning in a more northerly direction and is predicted to make land fall on Saturday morning in between Corpus Christi and Houston. We will continue to watch, but at this time we appear to be in the clear. While we are thankful for not being directly in the path, we continue to pray that Ike will huff himself out over the Gulf. I have tried everything from the sickly sweet, to the brutal truth and some things in between. At each point of departure, I seem to find some followers, some ho-hummers, and some who disagree. I enjoy the mix. I am not really a photographer, wildlife expert, flower guru, or keeper of the family chronicle. I may at times cover one or more of these subjects to fulfill the requirements of a meme, but balderdash is still my forte. I never said I wouldn't post political between now and November, I just said it would be nice if we could end the banter. Apparently the Democrats can't, so I'll be forced to answer in kind.

I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell. - Harry S Truman

When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw

Stressless Weekend

I had a fairly un-stressful Saturday. I went through my usual routine for the morning, making coffee (I had coffee and filters - no stress), reading the local newspaper, checking the blog (but not writing anything- no stress) and going with Bebe to our little Jackson Street Market Day. It was shorter than usual, so I was able to see it in record time. We ate out and refused to order more than we could eat so we were in fine. I returned home and did some chores, took a short motorcycle ride, and then settled in for all the college football I could watch in between naps. In short, I refused to do anything yesterday to cause stress. It is Sunday and I plan to continue my journey by beaching my raft in some secluded cove with a quiet beach and keeping my mind hooks in neutral. Any thought coming through with the potential to cause stress will be allowed to pass with very little cognitive energy. I hope you are able to do the same. Maxine has some a short list of things that cause stress.

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - W. C. Fields

Walking my Coffee

The weekend is gone and I am trying to get used to feeling good again. I have for several days been out of sorts, with some type of malady concocted by terrorists who use innocent children to do their dirty work. This morning however, I awoke with a sense of normalcy and decided to take my coffee for a walk. Now, for those of you who have never tried this I must insert a word of caution here; Dogs are one thing, but a steaming travel mug full of coffee is an entirely different animal. I knew my mug was feeling left out when I went out the door in the mornings with hardly a "howdy do", so I decided to take it with me this morning. I poured the dark brown elixir from the stainless steel carafe into my insulated travel mug with the faded advertisements on the outside, and secured the slotted lid so the sip hole was perfectly centered. This is a critical step when you plan to walk your coffee. Any deviation from center could cause you problems. I did a test sip and confirmed my initial observation about the temperature of the brew with the tip of my tongue and top lip. I was sure the feeling would return as soon as the swelling subsided. South Texas mornings in August are very similar to many other places' noon temperatures. My pores opened almost immediately. I started with my concentrated, heel first roll to toe, walking step to accommodate the rounded center sole of my Chang Shi shoes. These shoes were designed to take weight out of your wallet and give you the stride of a Masai warrior. I have seen Masai warriors on the Discovery channel and I don't think any of them know what it's like trying to untrack 245 pounds of sixty year old jello. I fell into a comfortable pace and nodded to several dog walkers who turned in amazement at the sight of someone walking their coffee. The real test is how well coordinated you are when you open the sip hole and bring the cup to your lips while in full stride. The gravitational effect of that much moving jello is significant, so timing your sip, blow, swallow, breath routine is of primary importance. I soon had it down. The only other point of difficulty came near the end of the walk when my mug was near empty and I had to turn it skyward to suck out the last few drops. With my head tilted backward and the travel cup covering my nose and obstructing my vision, I had to be very careful not to get off course. My mug was thrilled as we turned the corner and it realized the air conditioned kitchen was only a few paces away. I intend to make this a regular routine. I would advise those who are not practiced in the art, to start with iced coffee. Have a wonderful week. Pappy

Advertising is the modern substitute for argument; its function is to make the worse appear the better. - George Santayana

When You're Hot, You're Hot

It's summer folks. Now, I'm not complaining. It's just hot, that's all. Our skies have been a beautiful blue with an occasional cloud to temporarily make the oven like effects of the sun seem bareable. I was born and raised in the South; south Mississippi, Puerto Rico, south Florida, south Alabama, and all of these places were hot and humid. I lived my entire life in these climes. We did venture north to Oklahoma City for a year and did four years in Fort Smith, Arkansas, but for the most part it was always hot in the summer. As you can see from the little inset map in the upper left hand corner, I'm about as far south as one can go and still be in the United States. I should not expect anything but hot. As a kid, I never seemed to notice hot. I could play at full steam all day and never complain. I think it was the beginning of high school football practice in south Florida when I first realized how hot one could get. Two-a-day practice sessions in full uniform at the end of August made me think that death was a real possibility. As an young adult, I got this same feeling working on a siesmograph crew in south Mississippi, and later an oil field service crew when I was in my mid thirties. But, I survived and after a few hours rest and a good meal, I was ready to go again.

Yesterday, the actual temperature was so close to 100 degrees it didn't pay to argue either way. The heat index, which factors in the humidity, was 105. I fired my yard crew two weeks ago, so I have been doing my own mowing for about two weeks now. In fact, for most of my life I did yard work for myself and others with no ill effects. I was in pretty fair physical shape during my career, but after retirement I put on a few extra pounds. I was living in Austin, Texas several years ago (when I was in my late fifties) and I decided to go and do my yard work one summer morning when the summer temps were mid 90's early. I finished my yard at about noon, and since my neighbor was on vacation, I decided to do his too. I got about halfway through and noticed I was having trouble keeping up with my self propelled push mower, and I just couldn't get a good breath (I thought I was back in two-a-day practices). I stopped and cooled down, the actual temperature was 106 degrees. I finished the job by doing repeated cooling down sessions, but I decided to go and get my heart checked out. The resultant stress test showed that my heart was in great shape. The doctor found out what had caused my concern and told me that fat boys my age should not do yard work in such extreme heat. Now that I'm over sixty, I am reduced to doing a couple of hours at a time in my bathing suit and then going directly to the pool for a nice thirty minute cool down before retiring to the air conditioned safe zone. I will fire up the old Toro as soon as the dew dries this morning and try to finish before the mower housing melts.

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward. - Kurt Vonnegut

Going to the Show

I don't know how they talked where you grew up, but in Mississippi we called the Movie Theater a "Show." If your mom or dad asked (and they usually did), "Where do you kids think your going?", we might respond, "We're all going to the show." If you were from a small town like me, there was probably only one theater. No twenty one screen megaplex jobs like we have today. If you didn't like what was showing, you just had to wait a week or two. Popcorn and a Coke didn't cost twenty dollars, and many of the old theaters had balconies. There were real ushers to seat you (or at least help with seating) and they watched for unruly patrons. The ushers or managers would escort people out of the theater if they failed to comply with the rules. I had to present that background information for some who never enjoyed those pleasant days of yesteryear.

The Lay of The Land


The cowboy lay across four seats
at a local picture show.
The patrons thought it rude of him
and said he had to go.

They called the usher on him
to make him settle down.
They said he groaned and snorted
each time he moved around.

The usher told him, “Sir,
you can only use one seat,
and if you can’t be quiet
I’ll show you to the street.”

The cowboy didn’t budge an inch.
Like he didn’t understand.
He just lay there making noises
with his hat clutched in his hand.

A Texas Ranger got the call
and came to end this game.
“I’ll only ask you only once my friend,
where you’re from and what’s your name?”

The cowboy slowly raised his head
and said so painfully,
“Sir, my name is Sam
and I’m from the balcony.”

Movie and a Meal

Last evening Barb and I set out to the Dollar Theater here in town to see Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman in "The Bucket List". I had been wanting to see these two in action together. I enjoyed both actors in other roles, and I thought the combination would be good. We arrived for the 5:30 P.M. showing and took advantage of all the discounts available. Our total for our two tickets was three bucks. I consider it three dollars well spent. This bitter/sweet comedy was worth the trip. If you haven't seen it, I recommend it. Barb brought the Kleenex and we both used a couple at the end. Since we spent so frugally on the tickets, I thought I could do better than burgers for the evening meal. We went to La Playa restaurant and enjoyed Grilled Shrimp wrapped in bacon with a slice of Jalapeno pepper inside and Enchaladas verdes. We always get the to-go box these days. It will probably be another decade before we find a movie I consider worthy of spending three dollars on, but the DVD rental store still has some of my old favorites. I will save my pennies for a good meal in the meantime. I know how to cook and so does my wife, so the restaurant has to be above average before I'll go. I have a hard time enjoying a meal knowing I'll be adding an additional twenty five percent to the price of the food for tax and gratuity. I also don't like the idea of a "gratuity" being expected. It then becomes just an additional charge and has nothing to do with being thankful for the good service provided. If you are lucky and happen to actually get good service, then it is not as much of a problem. All in all a great evening out. Have a great weekend.