Monday, August 11, 2008

Walking my Coffee

The weekend is gone and I am trying to get used to feeling good again. I have for several days been out of sorts, with some type of malady concocted by terrorists who use innocent children to do their dirty work. This morning however, I awoke with a sense of normalcy and decided to take my coffee for a walk. Now, for those of you who have never tried this I must insert a word of caution here; Dogs are one thing, but a steaming travel mug full of coffee is an entirely different animal. I knew my mug was feeling left out when I went out the door in the mornings with hardly a "howdy do", so I decided to take it with me this morning. I poured the dark brown elixir from the stainless steel carafe into my insulated travel mug with the faded advertisements on the outside, and secured the slotted lid so the sip hole was perfectly centered. This is a critical step when you plan to walk your coffee. Any deviation from center could cause you problems. I did a test sip and confirmed my initial observation about the temperature of the brew with the tip of my tongue and top lip. I was sure the feeling would return as soon as the swelling subsided. South Texas mornings in August are very similar to many other places' noon temperatures. My pores opened almost immediately. I started with my concentrated, heel first roll to toe, walking step to accommodate the rounded center sole of my Chang Shi shoes. These shoes were designed to take weight out of your wallet and give you the stride of a Masai warrior. I have seen Masai warriors on the Discovery channel and I don't think any of them know what it's like trying to untrack 245 pounds of sixty year old jello. I fell into a comfortable pace and nodded to several dog walkers who turned in amazement at the sight of someone walking their coffee. The real test is how well coordinated you are when you open the sip hole and bring the cup to your lips while in full stride. The gravitational effect of that much moving jello is significant, so timing your sip, blow, swallow, breath routine is of primary importance. I soon had it down. The only other point of difficulty came near the end of the walk when my mug was near empty and I had to turn it skyward to suck out the last few drops. With my head tilted backward and the travel cup covering my nose and obstructing my vision, I had to be very careful not to get off course. My mug was thrilled as we turned the corner and it realized the air conditioned kitchen was only a few paces away. I intend to make this a regular routine. I would advise those who are not practiced in the art, to start with iced coffee. Have a wonderful week. Pappy

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